Bullshits.
Okay. I've been checking my mails lately and was so bored that I opened a few of it and came across funny stuff. Goanna post it to show you all.
CONFUSING ENGLISH....
1. If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?
2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
8. Why is it called building when it is already built?
9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Human?
Men & Guys Are Hard To Please...
The problems with GUYS:
If you tell him about his problems claims that YOU are the one with a problem;
If he tells you about his problems he's GREAT to share it with you.
If you message him, he says that you are terribly talkative;
If he messages you, he claims he is too bored.
If you are the one who makes the first move, he says you are THICK-SKINNED;
If he's the one who makes the first move, he says that he's PROACTIVE.
If you don't call him for a period of time, he says you're AVOIDING him;
If he duzzen call you for a period of time, he's BUSY with IMPORTANT things.
If you offer to treat him to lunch, he says that you FLAUNT YOUR WEALTH;
If he offers to treat you to lunch, he is extremely GENEROUS and NICE.
If you NEGOTIATE with him, he says you are USELESS because you can't argue;
If he negotiates with you, he says that he duzzen want to waste his voice to holler at you.
If you use your knife and fork at a western dinner well, he says that you're acting elegantly;
If he does so, he says it is a nature instilled in him.
If he catches you looking at him, he says that you are MESMERISED by him;
If you catch him looking at you, he says that he's looking at something PAST you.
So there you go. Hope you have a good laugh. Bye.
